Couples Counseling & Marital Therapy


In my work with couples I attempt to provide a setting in which both partners can safely explore their relationship, better understand their difficulties, and bring about desired change.  Couples need to be able to discuss sensitive topics without becoming defensive or attacking one another.  I facilitate this by helping couples safely explore difficult issues from each person’s perspective.  I attempt to clarify and improve communication, increase understanding, and help both parties to work towards solutions. 

What Problems Do I Treat?
My work with couples includes pre-marital, marital, and relationship counseling.  Some of the issues that I help both heterosexual and same sex couples address are:
  • Resolving communication problems
  • Premarital conceerns including helping couples to assess their compatibility before marriage
  • Turning anger and conflict into healthy and caring conversations
  • Developing ways to talk about jealousy, anger, sex, money, and other sensitive subjects
  • Working through infidelity or commitment issues
  • Learning to communicate so that your partner can better understand your needs
  • Understanding and resolving repetitive patterns that keep couples stuck
  • Concerns about starting a family and difficulties in the transition to parenthood
  • Dealing with the emotional challenges of infertility, third-party family building and adoption
When to Pursue Couples Therapy?
Sometimes couples put therapy off until their relationship is at the breaking point.  When they come to my office they are in crisis, hoping that therapy can save their relationship.  In my work with couples I have found that it is far more advantageous to come to therapy at the “tune-up” stage when their relationship is still “running” though perhaps not as smoothly as both partners would like.  Therapy can still be of value when couples are in crisis; however, it requires that both partners understand that it will take time to sort things out and be willing to tolerate painful and difficult feelings.

What Benefits Can You Expect from Couples Therapy?
The benefits of couples therapy vary based on the issues for which couples seek therapy and the motivation of each partner.  Some couples who have worked with me have sought to end fighting and arguing.  Others have struggled with issues related to trust or commitment.  Below are some examples of the types of benefits that couples might achieve:
  • Improved communication
  • Reduced conflict
  • Greater awareness and understanding of each other’s needs
  • Anger management skills
  • A realization that the relationship could not work
  • A decision to get married, start a family, or get back together
  • Improved sexual relationship
  • Reduced jealousy  
Phone Consultation
If you wish, I can speak initially with you by phone at no cost to help assess your situation and determine whether it would make sense for us to meet for a consultation. If it doesn’t make sense for us to meet, I can provide you with more appropriate referrals. If you have questions or would like to set up an initial phone consultation or appointment, please contact me by phone at 415-771-5671 or email at reneespencer@mac.com.

For information about Individual Psychotherapy, click here.