Counseling for Issues Related to Pregnancy and Parenthood


I specialize in psychotherapy for emotional difficulties connected to starting a family. I have successfully helped women, men, and couples grappling with:
  • Whether or not to have children
  • Deciding about an unplanned pregnancy
  • Anxiety or ambivalence during pregnancy
  • Pregnancy loss
  • Postpartum depression
  • Difficulties in the transition to parenthood
Parenthood
Anxiety and ambivalence about taking this step are common as starting a family involves enormous change. Although the birth of a baby often brings feelings of joy and new beginnings, it can also be a time of stress and difficulty. Each person or couple experiences this life transition differently. Motherhood and fatherhood involve a shift in one’s identity and relationships and can stir up deeper feelings related to one’s own childhood and parenting. The transition may also evoke feelings of loss around one’s freedom, lifestyle, career or identity.

Women
For women, in addition to physiological changes that may affect mood, motherhood can be emotionally complicated, even when one deeply desires children. More of the physical and emotional demands of caring for an infant usually fall on the mother. This can feel isolating and overwhelming, leading to depression and interfering in forming a healthy mother-infant attachment.

While the “baby blues” are common in the first days after childbirth, roughly 10-20% of women continue into a more severe postpartum depression, often without adequate treatment. Postpartum depression can leave you feeling restless, anxious, fatigued and worthless. Many women feel ashamed and blame themselves but postpartum depression is not your fault. While seeking help can be difficult, research shows that treatment, including psychotherapy, can make a substantial difference.

Men
Men can also suffer from depression after the birth of a child - according to a recent study, as many as 1 in 10 men do. Fatherhood may bring additional financial pressures to provide for a family. Relationship stress, social isolation and sleep deprivation may also contribute to depression in fathers. Some men do not bond easily with their baby and instead find themselves feeling like an outsider relative to the new mother-infant couple. A small subset of men can be vulnerable to affairs surrounding the birth of a child, even though they may deeply wish to be a good husband and father.

Couples
For couples, the transition from functioning as a couple to a family can be a source of stress and conflict. Caring for an infant and children requires significant personal sacrifice with less attention on each other’s needs compared to a couple’s life prior to children. New roles within the couple must be developed which may not come about as naturally as hoped. I work with new parents to make this adjustment and to attend to underlying relationship issues that may surface during this period of unusually high stress.

Guidance & Support Can Help
I offer practical support and guidance to get you back on your feet. In addition, I offer more in-depth work to help you clarify what this life transition evokes for you, which is highly individualistic and not always readily accessible. With greater clarity, coping and moving forward are often easier. If you have questions or would like to set up an initial therapy consultation, please contact me by phone at 415-771-5671 or email at reneespencer@mac.com.