Therapy for Sexual Compulsivity & Sex Addiction
I work with men and women of all sexual orientations who are struggling with sexual compulsivity, otherwise referred to as sex addiction.
What is Sexual Compulsivity?
There’s a broad range of sexual thoughts and behavior that might be considered sexually compulsive. If you cannot control your sexual thoughts and behaviors and if they are causing negative consequences in your life, you could likely benefit from therapy. Some examples include:
- Cheating and having extramarital affairs
- Frequent casual or anonymous sexual encounters, in-person or virtual
- Excessive use of Internet pornography
- Cruising online dating sites when in a committed relationship
- Having sex with prostitutes or getting sexual massages
- Going to sex clubs or strip clubs
- Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities
- Excessive masturbation
- Feeling compelled to engage in sexual activity when you're stressed, anxious or depressed and feeling irritable if you are not able to do so
Many of the people that I treat who are struggling with sexual compulsivity are talented, successful professionals. Some are married or in committed relationships. On the surface, they appear to live normal, even exceptional lives. But they often lead double lives, engaging in secret sexual affairs or activities that jeopardize their relationships or careers and damage their self-esteem. Often they delay getting help - out of guilt, shame, or ambivalence about whether they can or want to change.
The Internet & Technolgy
The Internet and high tech tools have made it easy to ‘hook up’ with people both online or in person. At the press of a button people can now see anything, do anything, be anyone or get anything they want sexually. For some, this is very compelling and can get in the way of working out a “real life” relationship with someone.
How Does Therapy Help?
Sexually compulsive behaviors are rarely about sex. They serve other emotionally protective purposes of which people are often unaware. I use a compassionate, intelligent, and non-judgmental approach to help you identify and better cope with the underlying feelings that motivate your sexually compulsive behaviors.
Who I Work Best With
I work best with people who can be curious about their internal life and who are interested in taking the time to understand what motivates their feelings and behavior so that they can get real and lasting help for themselves. If you simply want to control your impulses without understanding more about them, we would not be a good fit.
Getting Help Can Be Difficult
People who are caught in repetitive cycles of sexual compulsivity often alternate between denial and shameful despair. For some, their sexual activities or involvements feel so necessary that it can be difficult to imagine living without them. Getting outside professional help, though it may feel difficult, embarrassing, or scary, can help you regain better control of your life. A successful treatment will gradually help you feel ready to voluntarily let go of behaviors that no longer feel as compelling. Therapy also offers hope for living a life of greater emotional intimacy, self-control, and integrity.
For information about Individual Psychotherapy, click here.
If you have questions or would like to set up an initial therapy consultation, please contact me by phone at 415-771-5671 or email at reneespencer@mac.com. All inquiries are confidential.